The Closer I Get
by Ms. Perception
Summary: The three times Noah Puckerman tried to tell Rachel Berry how he really felt but couldn't. And the one time someone did it for him.


**Summary:** The three times Noah Puckerman thought about telling Rachel Berry how he really felt but couldn't. And the one time someone did it for him.

**Pairings**: Finnchel, St. Berry, Pizes, Bartie, Fuinn, Samcedes, and Puckleberry. Mentions of Samtana. Puck/Brittany friendship.

**Warnings:** No real spoilers involved in this story.

**Disclaimer:** I in no way shape or form own Glee because if I did Chord Overstreet would still be there. *sigh*

**Author's Note: **I needed to write fluff and so here we are. This story was literally written in a day so forgive me if it's not the best thing I've ever written. I just needed to write something quick, happy and not involving ghosts. LOL. So here we are. Hope someone out there enjoys.

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><p><strong>The Closer I Get<strong>

**-1-**

It really started around freshmen year. There was always something about her that drew his attention. He didn't understand it. She wasn't even his type. She was loud. She was annoying. She was just… Rachel. But there was something about Rachel Berry that drew Puck in almost against his will. He said almost because it was becoming increasingly obvious to even him that he wasn't really fighting the gravitational pull that was Rachel. He found it was harder and harder to tell her no. Even when her idea was total crap. Because seriously? Run, Joey, Run? And he wouldn't deny that it stung a bit when he found out that she cast Finn and Jesse too. But even that couldn't shake the feelings that he was developing for her. And those feelings scared the hell out of him.

He was pretty sure he didn't even feel that way about Quinn and she was carrying his baby. But she was also a total bitch so that might have had something to do with his less than stable feelings towards his baby mama. But he didn't understand his feelings for Rachel. When she was around he was almost… happy. He felt better when she was there. He felt like crap when she was sad. And he felt rage unlike any he'd felt before when someone hurt her. Especially singing dancing robotic douchetards like Jesse St. James. He really, really didn't like when people like that hurt someone like Rachel.

True, he started out pretty much making a hobby out of tossing slushies in her face but he grew out of that. And he never did anything as cruel as pretend to love her, break her heart and throw eggs at her in front of his friends. That was just wrong. That made him want to do more than slash tires. It made him want to hurt people (Jesse like people). But Mr. Schuester talked them out of it, claiming a musical performance would be a better show of revenge. Puck was still of the belief that a fist in the face would be a good show of revenge but hey, whatever. He was trying to be a team player these days. So they did their performance and he tried to ignore the satisfaction he felt when Rachel all but flipped Jesse off. He also tried to ignore the very satisfying feeling he had seeing her in those little shorts.

"Noah!" His head snapped up at the sudden, excited cry of his name. He had a brief second to prepare for an armful of Berry. She giggled as he swung her around playfully. She pulled away still grinning. "We were amazing! Did you see the looks on their faces?"

Puck smiled at her happiness. He worried that he was never going to see her smile again after finding her covered in eggshells and dead baby chickens. But here she was beaming at him with her eyes shining. It took every bit of the self control he'd learned over the past few months to stop himself from kissing her in that moment.

"You were pretty decent, Berry," he grinned as she swatted at his shoulder still sporting her own smile. "So how do you feel now that we got our vocal revenge against Vocal Adrenaline?"

"I feel good," Rachel admitted, flopping down on one of the auditorium seats. She looked up at him and he took that as his invitation to sit beside her. "I wanted to thank you."

"Thank me? I didn't do anything."

"You did a lot, Noah. You were there for me after they assaulted me in the parking lot. You were also willing to inflict physical damage on them all for me. That means a lot to me."

"Shit, Berry. If I knew that all it took was to threaten some people," Puck smirked, trying to deflect this conversation from where it was headed. It was where all their conversations seemed to lead. He didn't know how many almost kisses he could have with this girl before almost wasn't good enough. He kept his eyes locked on the stage, trying desperately to avoid looking at her.

"Noah, you know what I mean. But I also had a question."

"Shocking."

"Noah," she warned.

"Ok, go ahead. What's your question?"

"Why were you so angry? I mean you were the one that got the other boys organized. But I don't understand why you would do that for me?"

'It's because it's you that I did it,' was what he almost said. But at that moment, he turned his head to look at her finally and found her eyes were locked on the stage. He saw Finn talking with Matt and Mike. A soft smile formed on her lips and his heart sank. She would always love Finn. Everyone loved Finn. And the giant doofus loved her too. Puck did not fit in this equation. And that was a proven fact. So with a great sigh, he forced a cocky smirk on his lips.

"Because I'm sick of those Vocal Adrenaline assholes messing with us," he made him keep smirking even under her calculating glare. She was clearly not buying that one, so he went with a half truth. "This club and the people in it really do mean something to me. I don't appreciate some soulless robots fucking with them."

"That's really why?" Rachel asked after several uncomfortable moments of her staring.

"Yeah. You know me, Rach. What you see is what you get."

Rachel smiled sadly before pressing a kiss to his cheek. "We both know that's not true," she whispered into his ear. She gave him one last look before walking backstage to change.

Puck frowned. He had it bad for this girl. This was not going to end well.

* * *

><p><strong>-2-<strong>

Puck tried to distance himself from Rachel ever since the whole incident with the egging. Especially since Rachel and Finn finally decided to quit with the eye fucking and just get together. She looked happy and that helped him to stay away from her. He didn't want to ruin what she had with Finn. Not when it was everything she wanted. It didn't hurt that he was sent to juvie. He was also highly aware of the fact that he shouldn't be happy that he was sent to juvie so he could avoid the girl he had a huge crush on but he was Puck and usually did the opposite of what he was supposed to do. So really it wasn't that big of a deal.

Until that morning in glee when Santana cheerfully announced that she popped Hudson's cherry. Puck was aware of the event as Santana felt the need to recount the experience to him the following day. But he wasn't aware that Finn didn't tell Rachel. Part of him hated Hudson for hurting the girl he loved. The other part wanted to help Hudson get his shit together so that Rachel could stop walking around like her world just ended. But Finn just waltzed around like he was completely oblivious to her hurt feelings.

Now Puck was definitely not pulling for Team Finnchel but he was pulling Team Make Rachel Happy. And if Finnchel made Rachel happy then he was going to make sure that Finnchel didn't end. And that meant pulling away from Rachel when he finally had her back in his arms. It was the hardest (literally) decision he thought he'd ever make but he did it. He walked away from her. Again. But he did it for Rachel, not for Finn. He knew that if they went through with this Finn would never forgive her and that would break Rachel. So he left her that afternoon and went home with the hopes that she would call Finn.

But apparently she didn't. Apparently, she was playing Nancy Drew and investigating just how many people knew about Santana and Finn. He glanced around the backstage room while all the gleeks ignored Rachel's mini breakdown. He watched as Santana coldly informed her that none of them liked her and no one rushed to her defense. Not even her so-called boyfriend.

"That's not true," he said before he was even aware his mouth was moving. "I kinda like her." Rachel turned stunned eyes in his direction. He wanted to say to 'fuck it' to everything he told himself in the past. He wanted to just jump up and hug her until that look faded away. But then Mr. Schue was in the room reading them the riot act about not functioning like a team when honestly he never really helped them to function like a team. But apparently Mr. Schue was out when they were teaching about hypocrisy.

After their performance, Puck watched as Finn and Rachel threw each other pained, love filled glances. It was only a matter of time before they got back together. It was only a matter of time before they went back to the way things were supposed to be and Puck could go back to ignoring the steadily growing hole in his heart. He was midway through packing his bag again when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He jumped at the sudden intrusion into his thoughts but covered it quickly when he saw the blonde the hand was attached to.

"What's up, Britt?"

"You don't kind of like her," Brittany pointed out, sitting down beside him. "You love her."

Puck feigned confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"Rachel," Brittany replied, evenly. She met his gaze and he found it was almost impossible to look away. "You don't kind of like her. You're in love with her. You have been since last year."

He wanted to deny it. He wanted to tell her that she was crazy and all that. But he found that he couldn't. Mostly because he liked Brittany. She was cool in a really weird, off the wall kind of way. Plus she was totally dating his boy, so he had to like her. And because he was tired of walking around feeling this way and not sharing it with someone.

"So what if I do? She's in love with Hudson."

"That's because she think that's the best she can do. But you're better. She's waiting for you to tell her the truth."

Puck frowned. "I'm not better than Finn, Britt. He's everything Rachel's been dreaming about since we were kids. He's Mr. Perfect. And she deserves that. Not some screwed up douchebag that will only drag her down with him. So no, this stays between you and me. Ok?"

Brittany hugged him tightly and it took everything in him not to just break down at the feel of that hug. After several long moments, Brittany pulled away with a sad look in her eye. "I promise I won't tell her. But you should, Puck. You're better than you think you are."

"Isn't it better to let her be with the guy that's actually right for her?"

"But you're not," Brittany pointed out. She hugged him once more before bouncing off to wherever Artie was.

Puck sighed heavily. He needed to get past this. If it was becoming so obvious that even Brittany felt the need to comment on it then it was seriously becoming a problem. He needed to find someone else to focus on. Someone that was the opposite of Rachel.

"Puckerman, why are you sitting there like a sad sack?" Lauren asked, breezing past him without waiting for a response. Puck smirked. Perfect. Lauren was actually pretty badass and would prove to be a nice distraction from his silly crush on Rachel Berry. He'd be over Rachel in no time.

* * *

><p><strong>-3-<strong>

He was not over Rachel Berry. It seemed that nothing helped. Because all she had to do was bat those almost abnormally huge brown eyes at him and he melted. When she asked him to sing that stupid Lady Antebellum song, he did. When she pouted because her party wasn't going well, he helped. When she was having a crisis about her nose, he confronted her and even let Kurt take all the credit for that intervention. He threw his everything into his relationship with Lauren and watched as Rachel continued to dance around Finn to get his attention. But Hudson was completely oblivious (per the usual) to it all. And Puck needed him to get a clue. Because the longer Rachel and Finn were broken up, the more he started to wonder about the future for Rachel and Puck. And the more he started to want that. And wanting that was bad because it led to heartache and punching things when Rachel left him again.

And then his worst nightmare came true. Jesse St. Doucheface was back and clearly still interested in Rachel. And Rachel seemed to be interested in him. And hell no, he was not letting her go back down that road. It led to a sad loss of innocence and the death of baby chickens. He started to intervene at prom but he remembered he was with Lauren. She was his girlfriend. And that was fucked up to be crushing on another girl while you were with someone else. Oh, wait, no that made him Finn.

"Why don't you just tell her?" Lauren asked, as he lounged against the wall in the crowded airport. They were only minutes away from boarding a plane that would take them to New York City. Something that Rachel had dreamed about since they were kids. Her excitement was almost unbearable. Puck watched in fond amusement as Kurt tried, and failed, to contain Rachel, finally settling on herding her into one area.

"Wait, what? Tell who what?" Puck snapped out of his thoughts and focused on his girlfriend.

"Tell the midget that you're in love with her."

Puck scoffed. "I'm not in love with Rachel. I'm with you."

"Yeah, you're with me alright," Lauren smirked. Her features softened into a real smile. "Look, I get it. You really like Berry and when you're around her, she's not entirely hateful. So there might be something to that whole combination. And it's really sad watching you drool after her."

"I don't…." Puck paused. "Do I drool?"

"Oh yeah," Lauren laughed. "It's depressing."

Puck chuckled and crossed his arms over his chest. "But what about us?"

"We're cool. I think we make better friends than this whole couple thing. I like hanging with you. You're almost as badass as I am."

"You're the only person that could say that to me and live," Puck reminded her with a small grin. He shook his head wistfully as Rachel and Kurt started singing loudly from some Broadway musical. "She's going to leave Lima behind. I can't hold her back."

"So don't," Lauren shrugged. "There are tons of schools in New York that'll take your ass. You're not as stupid as you pretend to be. I know. I've seen your grades."

"You really think I have a chance?"

Lauren rolled her eyes. "Have you looked in a mirror lately? Any girl would be crazy to reject you."

"You rejected me," he pointed out. "Several times."

"I've been known to have moments of controlled insanity."

Puck snorted and nodded. "Maybe you're right. Maybe I should try this."

"Really? That's it. Damn, Brittany was right."

"Wait, what about Britt?"

"She bet me twenty bucks that all I had to do was talk to you and you'd totally cave. I bet that it'd take you until at least the middle of senior year."

Puck wanted to be insulted that his girlfriend and Brittany were making bets on how long it would take him to ask out another girl but he knew better. Brittany was on his ass since Sectionals to talk to Rachel. He really wasn't shocked that Lauren would team up with her. Brittany was very convincing when she was passionate about something. And for some reason him being with Rachel was something she was passionate about. And that's why twenty minutes later, he was seated on the plane beside a positively beaming Brittany. Sam was strangely eager to switch seats with Brittany, who was originally sitting besides Mercedes. Puck had a feeling that another gleek coupling was about to happen. Good for Sam. He needed someone not as psychotic and manipulative as Quinn. And a little less high maintenance and emotionally closed off as Santana.

"They won't last," Brittany whispered in his ear as the plane took off. "Sam's totally still crushing on San. And she hearts him back."

Puck raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Totally. Samtana will be almost as epic as Puckleberry."

"Why do you care so much?"

"Because you don't call me names or think I'm crazy and stupid," Brittany replied, honestly. "You don't treat me any different than you treat the others. And you helped me when Lord Tubbington was stealing from the neighbors again."

Puck smiled. "That cat grows on you after awhile. And you're not crazy or stupid, Britt. You just don't think the same as the rest of us. And that just makes you awesome."

"That's why I care," Brittany said, firmly. "Because Rachel makes you happy. And I want you to be happy."

Puck nodded and shifted closer in his seat. Brittany leaned her head on his shoulder happily. "So do you have any song ideas?"

"I've actually been working on something really good," Brittany replied, enthusiastically. "Artie said he'd help me with the vocals. Wanna help with the music?"

"Only if you help me with winning Rachel over."

Brittany held up a hand which he shook. "Deal."

**-Puckleberry-**

"What are you working on?"

Puck peered over the top of the notebook propped up on his stomach to face Sam. "Just a song idea. It's not much."

"It's a lot better than the nothing we've got so far," Sam said, glancing over the lyrics. "What's it called?"

"Pretending," Puck shrugged. "It's a work in progress."

"Well your work in progress is pretty good. Is that what you're going to school for?"

"What? Music?" Puck laughed. "Nah. It's not really like that for me. Music is just what I use to blow off steam."

"You should think about it," Sam shrugged. "You're good."

"Thanks, Sammy."

Sam narrowed his eyes. "Don't call me that."

"Ok… Sammy." Puck grinned at the exasperated huff Sam let out before stalking to the other side of the room. Puck noticed that Sam was still smiling even as he flopped down beside the bed Mike was claiming as his.

"This is seriously messed up," Artie threw his notebook to the side and sighed. "We're performing in two days and we got nothing."

"I'm sorry guys, but I just can't focus on this," Finn let out a deep sigh of his own. "All I keep thinking about is Rachel."

"Wait... what?" Puck sat up feeling a pit growing in his stomach. "I thought you and Rachel were over."

"I thought so too. But it's like seeing her with Jesse just reminded me. I was so stupid to give her up. I gotta get her back and I have to prove to her that we're forever."

For a moment, the world went gray and Puck couldn't hear anything. Finn wanted Rachel back. Finn wanted Rachel back. Rachel loved Finn. She wanted him back since the day he walked away from her in the hallway. And now Finn wanted her back. It was perfect except for poor, pathetic Puck who wanted Rachel too and was wanted by no one. His started shaking.

He forced himself to think about it logically. If he tried something now there was a good chance that Rachel would feel forced to choose between him and Finn. Puck knew he didn't stand a chance against Finn. And he would never want to do that to Rachel. He only wanted her to be happy. Finn made her happy. So that meant that he had to…

"You need to ask her out tonight. Take her on one of those big awful dates you see on those unwatchable romantic comedies that you grow a vagina with if you watch all the way through."

"This is totally your shot, dude. If I was in a love with a girl, and I wasn't homeless, I'd totally go for it," Sam added. Puck didn't feel the need to point out that he was probably totally dating Mercedes right now. He could only focus on one brainless friend at a time and right now it was Finn. And Finn needed all the help he could get.

So Puck detailed the perfect date in New York and even offered his services for a street corner serenade. In other words, Brittany was going to be really pissed off with him.

* * *

><p><strong><span>*1*<span>**

Brittany Pierce was beyond pissed. Not only did Puck let Finn take the credit for his awesome, thought out and uber romantic date, but he also let the giant asshole take credit for his song. And then Finn blew their chances at winning Nationals by kissing the girl that rightly rejecting him the night before. And somehow this all ended with Finn getting the girl and none of the blame while Puck ended up alone and miserable. This was not cool.

Brittany tried talking to Puck but he rejected all attempts at talking. He was shut down and not even Artie or Lauren could reach him. Puck was very much the opposite of happy right now and that meant that Brittany was pissed. And that meant that someone was going to pay until Puck got happy. The only problem was figuring out who she really blamed for all this. She didn't blame Puck because really it would be like kicking a squirrel in the face: really difficult because of their tiny faces and kind of pointless because squirrels were stupid.

"Hey, Britt, do you know what's wrong with Puck lately?" Santana asked her while she was cleaning out her locker. It was the last day of school and the last day Brittany had to fix this. "You guys have been talking more lately. I figured you'd know why he looks like a raincloud is following him around."

"It's because he's sad," Brittany said, frowning at Rachel and Finn who chose that moment to walk out of one of the classrooms. Rachel's smile faltered as she saw the frown on Brittany's normally pleasant features. Finn was too involved in not paying attention to whatever Rachel was talking about to notice her exchange with the two former Cheerios.

Puck never ignored Rachel. He always listened to her. He never needed a stupid calendar with dates because he remembered everything about Rachel. He cared about her enough to let her go because he thought that Finn would make her happy. And Rachel just ignored it all. People thought Brittany was the dumb one. Well, she had **nothing** on Rachel!

Brittany clenched her hands to her side before coming to a decision. All this time she was going about this the wrong way. It didn't matter if Puck did talk to Rachel about his feeling. They had to address the problem at the source.

"Rachel?" she called out, halting the couple's progress. Rachel's eyes darted between the equally confused Santana and Brittany.

"Um, is everything ok, Brittany?"

"No. Nothing is ok, Rachel. Everything is all wrong and it's all because you're stupid!"

Rachel's eyes widened while Santana's jaw dropped comically. Finn just looked bored. Rachel flushed and tried to recover. "Is this still about Nationals? Because I've already apologized about that…."

"This isn't about that. I don't really care about Nationals anymore. This is about Puck!"

"What about Puck?" Finn asked, now visibly interested in the conversation.

"Hey, Finn," Brittany turned her glare on their taller teammate. "Why don't you tell Rachel where you got the idea for your New York date?"

Santana smirked seeing where Brittany was going with this. And that's why she totally loved Santana. "Yeah, Hudson. I'd love to hear where you got that bolt of inspiration from."

"Uh, a movie?"

"Really," Santana drawled. "And it wouldn't be from oh, Noah Puckerman?"

"Noah?" Rachel asked, quietly. She let go of Finn's arm and took a step back. "Noah gave you the idea for the date?"

"Yeah, it was his idea but I wanted to take you out, Rachel. I wanted you to feel special."

"That was really great of you to step up with the songwriting," Brittany barreled on. "Too bad it wasn't your song."

Rachel had her head tilted to the side. "What do you mean? Finn, you told me you came up with the song too."

"I did… I just had a little help that's all."

"Try had someone else write the whole damn song," Santana suggested. "I should've known that song was too good to say you wrote it. And he really let you take credit. Damn, he really does…. Britt, you know too?"

"Yes," Brittany confirmed. "I've known for a while. How long have you known?"

"Since he picked glee," Santana's smirk grew almost feral as she turned to Rachel. "Ok, midget, let's just get one thing clear here. I don't like you. I really don't. You're loud and you're bossy. But you're tolerable when you're around Puck. Probably because you're not trying so damn hard."

"What are you saying?" Rachel asked her voice low and shaky.

"Puck is in love with you!" Brittany snapped, her patience finally coming to an end. "It's always been Puck. He came up with the date. He wrote the song. He came up with the Barbravention in the mall. He sang a duet with you. He got slushied for dating you. He picked glee over football because of you. Puck is in love with you, Rachel."

Rachel's flew up to cover her mouth in shock. Brittany saw her eyes well up as all the pieces started to come together. She should feel bad for doing something even Puck gave up on but she didn't. Because she knew Rachel was crying because she loved him too. She loved Puck almost as much as he loved her. Which was enough for Brittany because it was more than Rachel loved Finn.

"I have to… find... Noah."

"But Rachel…" Finn started, reaching for her. She stepped away from him again.

"I'm sorry, Finn. But I can't." She spun on her heels and started to sprint away.

"He's in the choir room, hobbit," Santana called after her. Brittany grinned. "What? I didn't help her because I like her or anything."

"Sure," Brittany patted her on the arm. She looked up at Finn, who was still standing in the middle of the hallway looking confused. "It's ok, Finn."

"How is it ok? My girlfriend just dumped me for my former best friend."

"Yeah, she did. But that's why it's ok."

Finn let out a deep sigh. "When did you get so smart?"

"When you blew Nationals," Brittany replied with a grin. "Now since you're not busy anymore… want to join me and San for some fondue?"

**-Puckleberry-**

As surprising as it would be to know, Puck wasn't as miserable as he seemed. True, he wasn't with Rachel and they lost Nationals but he saw the smile on her face while she was hanging off Finn's arm and he couldn't be mad. She was happy and that was what he wanted for her. So he was ok. Well, maybe he was a little hurt that she so easily believed that Finn was suddenly romantic and talented enough to write a song that good. And he knew it was good (mostly because Artie, Sam and Mike spent the entire plane ride home that he was an idiot for trusting the song with Finn). Maybe he was miserable.

"Ugh! I have to get over this," he muttered aloud. "Rachel is happy."

"Did you ever think that maybe I'd be happier with you?"

Puck's head shot up as whirled around in his seat to see Rachel standing in the doorway. She looked like she just ran a marathon and a quick check showed no Finn behind her. He swallowed and shifted in his chair.

"No, Berry," he threw out her last name, trying to distance himself from this conversation. "I really didn't think about you and me."

"I noticed because if you did you would know that we're better together than we are apart."

"Wait, what the hell?"

"Noah, you're an idiot! But what's worse is that I'm also an idiot. I should've seen what you weren't saying. And you should've just told me. You know you can tell me anything."

Puck blinked at the rapid-fire changes of topic. "Rachel, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I'm in love with you, Noah Puckerman. I have been since you stood here in front of everyone and sang _Sweet Caroline _for me. And I fall for you a little more every day."

"But… what about Finn?"

"Screw Finn," Rachel muttered, stalking over to him and crashing her lips against his. He pulled away about to ask her another question but she refused to let him go. Maybe he could save the questions for another day.

"Wait, there's something I need to say." Rachel moved away slightly but kept her lips hovering over his. She was practically straddling him on the chair, his guitar falling to the side forgotten in the midst of admittedly one of the hottest make out sessions of his life. Her hair draped over his shoulder as she waited for him to say what was on his mind. He pushed the strands behind her ear and smiled.

"What did you need to say, Noah?"

"I love you."

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><p>*The end. Hope you enjoyed this story. I tried for fluffy and it still ended up angsty in some parts. Oh well, I'm going back to writing <em>Broken<em> now. Maybe I should stick to the ghosts. They're way easier to write than fluff. LOL. Ciao for now.


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